How do I know if I have overwhelming Caregiver Stress?

Daughter helping her father. She wonders if she has Caregiver Stress

Caregiving for a loved one is rewarding.  Caregiving is a labor of love.  You may have the opportunity to spend more time with a person you love and learn more about them.  It may feel good to give back to someone who helped you in the past and made your life better.  Caregiving may be a way to honor a person you love.  

However, you may have noticed that you have less time for yourself as the caregiving duties increased.  You may have also noticed that your social circle and outlets have been shrinking.  You just don’t have the time anymore to invest in the relationships you used to enjoy.  Fewer people call, visit, or check on you.  All of your time continues to be devoted to your loved one and their care.  You may be overdue to go to the doctor or get your hair cut.  It may have been a while since you put on make.  At times, you may even see yourself in the mirror and wonder who is there looking back at you.  

How does caregiver stress feel? 

You find yourself not feeling like you anymore.  You may notice tears seem to come at the drop of a hat, you find yourself feeling sad when you think about your situation, your energy is decreasing, and you may just want to sleep. You may not be able to sleep.  

You feel overwhelmed much of the time. At other times you may feel like a powder keg that could just erupt over minor things.  You may even feel like the situation is hopeless, and you are resentful that this is your life.  All of this emotion may make it hard to keep thoughts straight or stay on task.  You may even forget to do the simplest things, such as pay the bills or get medicine.  Feeling overwhelmed and emotional may make it harder to see others or do what you used to enjoy.   

Guilt may be something you feel more often.  You don’t want to do things your loved one can’t do with you.  You don’t want to leave them because, after all, you are the person who knows the care routine and how to approach them to make them more comfortable.  

That is caregiver stress.  If you are experiencing it or have someone close to you going through this stress, you know firsthand how much it affects every part of your day.  

Why is it so hard for me to get help with Caregiver Stress? 

Your friends and family may be trying to help.  You may even have agencies helping with the care.  They may tell you to go to the doctor, reach out to your spiritual group, and do things you used to love.  With all of this emotion, it is difficult for you to see how you can leave your loved one and feel like the person you used to be when you weren’t a caregiver.  

Take small steps toward a better life.  

Think about one thing you can change.  It doesn’t have to be a big thing.  It can be doing one thing for you.  Promise yourself that today and each day, you will do this one item.  You may even ask another person to do one small thing for you.  The main thing is you recognizing you need nurturing as well.  

It may be time to consider doing some counseling.

See my blog series on Finding a Therapist in Columbia, MO at www.counselingmidmo.com/blog.  You may also read more about Caregiver Stress from the Alzheimer’s Association.    

Take a moment and read some of the blogs.  You may want to do the WHY exercise - take a piece of paper and write 10 reasons WHY you want your life to change.  Making this list can help you gain clarity and motivate you to reach out to a professional.  

Counseling moves at your pace.

A counselor will work with you to understand what is happening and how you want your life to be different.  During weekly sessions, you can begin to explore your feelings and start moving toward that different life. Therapy will also help you break things down, and it tackles one difficulty at a time, removing the overwhelm that could rob you of taking the first step.

About Jerry W. Kiesling, MSW, LCSW:

I am Jerry W. Kiesling, MSW, LCSW, and I provide Counseling in Columbia, MO.  I help Seniors, Caregivers, and Adults learn to live better lives when Depression, Anxiety, and Grief are making daily life difficult.  Depression therapy in Columbia, MO, and Anxiety therapy in Columbia, MO, may help Caregiver Stress have less of an impact on your life.  Read more about me at www.counselingmidmo.com.  I would love to visit with you and help you find a counselor in Missouri.  Call me at 573-238-8575.